Monday, November 1, 2010

On Adulthood

It has been pointed out to me on more than one occasion, some recent and some in the slightly distant past, that I have not updated this blog since I started it.

Ooops... is really all I can say in response to that. I'm not an adept blogger and may need a shove to get a new post out every now and again. And for this, I apologize.

Moving on to the topic of the day... adulthood. This is a strange new "hood" that I have been exploring more rigorously in past few months. It's weird for me to think that based upon any previous standards I set for adulthood, such as living on one's own, holding down a job, paying for things like gas, electricity and internet, among others, I have reached the state of being an adult. Little kids look at me and see a grown-up and I can't refute their claims with, "But I'm still in school. I'm no where near the REAL world, like a REAL adult would be!" And now, this "real" world I've stumbled into doesn't feel any more real to me than the world of academia did when I was still there; a mere 6 months ago.

One major thing I've noticed about adulthood is that, at least for now, each little step further in I take is equally exciting as the last. Each step has it's own kind of excitement attached, like the day I finally got my new mattresses delivered and all I could do was lay on top of them in splendor for a solid 10 minutes before gleefully bouncing on it a little bit and eventually making my new bed for the first time. And then, all I could do was lay on top of that for another 10 minutes of joy. This may seem like overkill to some of you, but I challenge you to sleep on an air mattress with funny groves in it for 3 months and NOT be ecstatic when you finally have a lovely pillow-top all your own to replace it. Go ahead... I dare you. But that excitement was a different sort than when I paid the bills for the first time. While parting with my money was not a moment of sheer joy that I'd been anticipating for ages, there was an odd satisfaction in seeing my name on the bill that came in the mail. Also there was, and still kind of is, a twisted pleasure in knowing that this particular money I'm parting with isn't going to some frivolous thing, but rather to ensuring that as winter approaches I will have heat, and a place to cook warm food.

Speaking of food, this is a step into adulthood I have been anticipating most, if not all, of my college years. And, I have LOVED every moment of cooking for myself. I recipe surf online regularly and frequently to find tasty new things to try and make for myself. And *knocks on wood* I have been mostly successful in my endeavors so far. The new exciting recipes coupled with the tried and true ones of my family and friends have been quite fun to experiment with and make my own. I've always been a fairly independent personality, so I think I'm loving this so much because I have complete and total control! Mwaaa ha ha! I choose what I want and then make it happen. Poof... it's like magic, almost... you know, except for the actual work done in the kitchen, but that's just splitting hairs.

Anyway back to actually being an adult. Despite these steps I'm taking and all evidence to the contrary, I do not FEEL like an adult. I know I'm still young by anyone's standards (baring those under the age of 14 because, honestly, what do they know anyway?!?) but I'm beginning to wonder if people ever actually feel like an adult. Oh sure, I have my moments, but 97% if the time, I might as well be 14 again, God forbid that actually happen, it's my worst nightmare come true, because I feel like a kid pretending to be an adult. I saw this comic from xkcd the other day and it pertains nicely to my current attitude on adulthood. (Please click on the link or the next few sentences won't make sense.) When looking at it with that girl's attitude, I get to have it both ways, and I always pick the option which doesn't actually require me to make a finite choice. This way I get to have my child-like impulses and quirks, but since I'm disguising myself as an adult, they turn into paradigm changing choices. I equate this to the fact that my Grandparents never have, and never will, like rock and roll, they keep their selections in the classical and opera/theater categories. Yet, rock and roll is the majority of what my parents listen to. Therefore, my kids Grandparent's will listen to rock and roll, something that completely blows my mind, yet will seem totally passe to my kids. Same thing goes for any other "adult" choices I make for myself. They may seem weird to us now because they aren't the same as what adults chose to do previously, but it'll be normal to the next generation, who can then eventually choose to do the same thing, or shift their own paradigm a different direction. It's the beauty of being a species that is constantly evolving!

To sum this all up in a sentence: It's an awesome power that we've all been given, and I'm enjoying my new powers immensely.

I can't promise my next post will be timely, but I'll try.

Until next time, Peace.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The First One

I recently realized that I have been back in the states from my world-wind adventures in France for nearly a full year. I never finished my old blog, which is sad, but between my broken computer and lack of free time, it was inevitable. However, I also realized that I still have adventures, and am getting ready to have some more as I enter the world of semi-adulthood by graduating from college.

Something that goes along with being an almost graduate is noticing a lot of 'lasts'. I had my last undergraduate class last week. I wrote my last paper for one class, and turned in the last assignment for another. Yesterday was my last dead day before finals week, and tonight was my last late night breakfast in the Jewell cafeteria, where the professors serve the students a late night meal of breakfast-y things, almost as an apology for being the reasons we're up so late and needing nourishment. The rest of this week promises to hold many more lasts, and they fill me with a great sense of accomplishment and at the same time a sort of sad longing. I'm sure that anyone who has gone through a transition in their life can empathize with this strange duality in emotions.

Strangely it was the realization that I've been back from France for a whole year, and neglected my old blog for even longer, that led me realize all of these lasts I'm experiencing right now are headed directly toward even more firsts. Some of them have already happened, such as my first application to live in an apartment (and acceptance!), accepting my first real job, and writing my first new blog post! More will come and I will try my hardest to write up witty narrations of each new adventure that comes my way.

Until next time, Peace.